Berndogification

I'm only 24, so what do I know about dying?

Thu, 23 May 2013 23:44:38 -0400

…This thought quickly skirted the edge of my mind as I observed the doctor pointedly explaining the patients condition.

Allowing a moment of playfulness I whispered to myself under the same breath -

“My thoughts exactly.”

…Apparently this person had not quite zeroed in on his imminent death.

It seemed certain to me.

…Not quite understanding the concept of a hospice, the doctor became more frank and spelled out the situation once more before exiting the room. I stood there for a moment weighing thoughts against themselves.

Personally, I have indeed spent some time considering the aftermath of life and my conclusions from previous experiences were surfacing during this moment. I looked up and we stared at each other for a moment.

~~I like to think~~ I am a capable, emotionally intelligent human being - full of empathy.

Sometimes at work I lose this in the heat of the moment…and coming down from a busy day its even harder to pause and empathize.

I stared back and placed my hand on shoulder.

“…Well I had a pretty good life.” - Pt

“Thats good.” …It sounded flat.

I quickly responded again..
“Thats good. …I mean that… I’m glad to hear that its been an okay run for you..”

Pt - “I dont think I’m afraid. I think I’m ready”

Still staring at me, It felt like I was being requisitioned to supply relief..

“I think you’ll be alright”

“…I think..dying, well its part of life right? ..and as long as you have some good memories to take with you.. I think you’ll be okay.”

“You think so?”

“Yea..I even find some comfort in it..given your condition..I think it isn’t a bad idea to make yourself as comfortable as possible..just sit back..and one day, hopefully you just fall asleep..and I think once that happens, you’ll be okay.. even relieved…It’ll be nice”

I did my best to remain as ambiguous as possible on my thoughts and opinions of what happens when you die.

We sat there for a second. His eyes hallowed and dull. I searched his expression, studied his features..

I started for the curtain and my hand was tugged.

“Thank you…”

So I've decided...

Wed, 22 May 2013 02:56:15 -0400

…To add hitch hiking and couch surfing as an acceptable means of transportation/living arrangement while in Europe.
Did some research, asked a few questions and I have come to the conclusion that the adventure and possible money saved outweighs the risk.

jtotheizzoe: The chemical formulas of various substances used...

Mon, 20 May 2013 02:22:20 -0400

jtotheizzoe:

The chemical formulas of various substances used to mimic plant-based aromas and flavors.

Tastes like science.

Esters. How I love thee.

Reached 100 Followers today!!

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:53:13 -0400

…Actually it was a couple days ago but I’ve been too busy to brag!

Shout out to some of the blogs that have been following me from the start/always giving me some “Heart Love”

http://undougutsu.tumblr.com/

http://caffeinatedashley.tumblr.com/

http://themtheory.tumblr.com/

Special thanks:

http://earthwindandherpes.tumblr.com/

People I just like:

http://fearsdreamsotherterriblethings.tumblr.com/

http://ocfitness.tumblr.com/

Meeting all these random people through tumblr is pretty darn fun.

Okay so I know this isn’t Facebook guys but 30 minutes ago...

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:45:03 -0400

Okay so I know this isn’t Facebook guys but 30 minutes ago I woke up TO A FREAKING BAT IN MY ROOM! I FELT THE BREEZE FROM HIS WINGS ON MY FACE! THATS WHY I WOKE UP!

After 5 minutes of panic and yelling I got my landlord to come upstairs and we eventually were able to use brooms and get him out a window.

Please enjoy this short clip of the bat and myself speaking in slight disbelief!

If people are interested enough I’ll make a post about it because its actually pretty funny how it all went down.

Pushed myself to exhaustion...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:10:19 -0400

This last day and a half.

Hit the gym yesterday morning, studied all day then worked all night……..then school all day today including two exams (one unit, one final) then just now on the drive home I spontaneously broke into tears, I wasn’t even really upset about anything. Just so exhausted, worn out, burnt out.

Proud of myself.

I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am and I have so much more I’m looking forward to conquering.

Time for bed.

"Extroverts are often people who’ve learned that if they’re the life of the party, they won’t be..."

Wed, 15 May 2013 05:19:56 -0400

“Extroverts are often people who’ve learned that if they’re the life of the party, they won’t be expected to have any heart-to-heart type conversations. They’ve created a camouflage that makes them appear as if they’ve mastered connecting, but if you observe them carefully, what you will probably see is that they have lots of acquaintances, but few, if any, close friends.”

- Brave New Kitty, ‘The Burden of Connecting’ (via jeizelpe)

Wow this defines me

Added a Eurotrip 2013 link to my page!

Wed, 15 May 2013 00:17:37 -0400

Just a little FAQ explaining a few details of the trip :)
I’ll be adding Nation pages as I arrive at each destination!

…Soon

ocfitness: elbow2kneesallday: Stay hungry an reach your...

Tue, 14 May 2013 07:53:54 -0400

ocfitness:

elbow2kneesallday:

Stay hungry an reach your goals

a health and fitness blog run by a personal trainer.

Motivating.

A little starter money for Eurotrip 2013 :) about 2 weeks and...

Mon, 13 May 2013 15:23:19 -0400

A little starter money for Eurotrip 2013 :) about 2 weeks and then I’m off!!

ocfitness: eatcleanmakechanges: lovelovelove a health and...

Sat, 11 May 2013 17:49:30 -0400

ocfitness:

eatcleanmakechanges:

lovelovelove

a health and fitness blog run by a personal trainer.

I dig it.

My road bike is becoming an extension of my body...

Sat, 11 May 2013 17:01:53 -0400

(Insert dick joke)…

Every turn/brake/movement and I know exactly how it will react….Awesome feeling.

It is amazing how your experiences...

Thu, 09 May 2013 23:56:39 -0400

…can have such a profound effect on who you are…

Looking forward to Eurotrip 2013 I find myself reflecting on previous experiences in my life..

High school.

The Marine Corps.

College.

Employment in an Emergency Department…

Obviously as time passes your mind is changing on topics and situations however, exploring the world and forcing yourself into environments unlike anything you have ever experienced before… its rejuvenating. I feel like I almost always improve myself by wandering like this through life.

An extroverted wanderer, always heading in the direction of firm goals.

How will Europe will mold who I am…

20 days from now..

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:09:02 -0400

I’ll be embarking on my FORTY DAY LONG EUROTRIP!!!!!!

werd. Here’s a dancing bear fer ya. mmsk mmsk mmsk mmsk

Photo

Wed, 08 May 2013 23:14:37 -0400

Heard this in my head today...

Wed, 08 May 2013 19:59:50 -0400

If you are going to take something, take it like you mean it.

Stretch it ouutt

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:19:44 -0400

Stretch it ouutt

I took a 7 week coast to coast road trip after being laid off...

Thu, 02 May 2013 20:54:00 -0400

I took a 7 week coast to coast road trip after being laid off from Boeing. I didn’t have a camper but realized that being able to pull off the road at a rest or truck stop was the way to go to make the trip affordable. With a few sheets of 1/2” plywood and misc. hardware this is what I came up with. The effort was well worth the time and materials.

This is so neat :)

Riding.

Wed, 01 May 2013 20:53:15 -0400

Riding.

Discovered this show today. Couldn’t stop laughing.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 22:50:12 -0400

Discovered this show today. Couldn’t stop laughing.